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A Welsh Bollocks Gift Card
Stuck on ideas for a gift? Give the gift everyone would love to receive... Available as £10, £25, £50 and £100 denominations.
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Aberffowlyn
One of the greatest rugby teams ever to exist... They dominated Welsh rugby for three decades and between 1923 and 1939 supplied 93% of the Welsh rugby team. Legendary names such as Dai Tackle, Dan Bwysau and Elvis Jones, some of the greatest players ever to have graced the game. The fighting cocks "We might not be the biggest cocks on the walk but you won't find harder ones anywhere".
Feared from Pontlotyn to Abercwmboi.....
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Abertawe
Abertawe (Swansea) is the largest city in West Wales. The birthplace of Dylan Thomas, the location for the film "Twin Town", and the home of Swansea City FC. It boasts a castle, prison, a big Tescos and the LC2 leisure centre with its THREE water slides.
Features image of the Swansea skyline...
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Aberystwyth
It's miles from anywhere, home to the National Library of Wales and has a drive-through McDonalds that's dead handy if you're travelling from the north to the south...
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Bae Colwyn
Bae Colwyn is the far more exotic, and original, Welsh name for Colwyn Bay. Fascinatingly despite being located in a bay the name isn't linked to its geography. Colwyns "bae" was in fact Berhyl Funfair-Amusementarcade, a norman noblewoman who lived down the coast from Colwyn Parc-Eirian, a chieftain related to the Princes of Gwynedd. Berhyl bore Colwyn 3 sons, Glyn Dyfrdwy, Dan Gynnig and Rhechwyn Ap Colwyn. Thy couple retired to Llandudno.
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Bangor
The one in Wales, not the one in Maine or Northern Ireland. It has a pier, a very long high street, a cathedral and a university. Aye.
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Border
The Border brewery was a fixture of Wrecsam for many years, the chimney from the original brewery remains behind the Nags Head. The Border Prince of Ales sign was a feature of the Cae Ras during the 70's.
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Caerdydd
Caerdydd (Cardiff) the capital of Wales, the city where you can park your car in one of 300 multistorey car parks, the home of the bluebirds, the Senedd and Billy the seal.
Features image of the Cardiff skyline...
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Caerffili
Caerffili is recognised as the cheese capital of Wales. Its castle was built by the chamber of trade in 1823 in order to protect stocks of the cheese which was subject to attack by the cheese barons of Cheddar.
Caerffili is featured in the Sex Pistols documentary The Filth and the Fury. Protests and a prayer meeting were held outside the Castle Cinema on the evening of 14 December 1976, when the Pistols were playing a concert there. However, at this point in time, Caerffili was one of the few councils that would allow the group to perform (Leeds and Manchester being the others). Caerffili Castle was used as a filming location for Merlin and the Doctor Who episodes The Rebel Flesh and The Almost People (2011).
Caerffili hosted the National Eisteddfod in 1950.
There are a number of notable figures who grew up in Caerffili. They include comedian Tommy Cooper and the footballers Aaron Ramsey and Robert Earnshaw, whose family relocated to the town from Zambia.
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Caerfyrddin
Caerfyrddin, the gateway to Crymych. Where people with disappointing A level results gain a university education. Has a big Tescos
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Caernarfon
Cofiland, where the locals greet you with a cheery "iawn cont?". Better than Bangor.
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Casnewydd
Casnewydd was the site of the last large-scale armed insurrection in Wales (unless you count the Rumble in the Tumble), the Newport rising of 1839. The birthplace of Michael Sheen and the home of the Dragons rugby team. Unlike Cardiff Newport boasts a fully functioning bus station.
Features an image of the Newport skyline..
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Castell Nedd
Castell Nedd, or Neath in English, named after the river Nedd. Neath is an anglicisation of Nedd, in Welsh it's called Castell Nedd, Neath Castle. Welsh speakers have kept the location of the castle a secret from those who don't speak the language, enjoying fantastic parties in its grounds every summer where Welsh speakers drink medd, which although sounds like Nedd is actually an alcoholic drink made from fermenting honey, known in English as mead. The songs of Max Boyce are sung and bara brith is eaten.
The M4 was built specifically to link Castell Nedd with Llundain (London). Nobody to this day knows why.
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Cheers Drive
If you don't say this getting off a bus or getting out of a taxi.... You're committing a crime in Wales.
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Cont y chips
One of the Welsh names for the Jellyfish is cont y môr... Well if he's the "cont"* of the sea this robbing chip bandit deserves the same accolade....
*cont is a term of endearment in Caernarfon.
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Cont y môr
Did you know that the Welsh name for a Jelly Fish isn’t “Pysgodyn Wibli Wobli” (Wibbly Wobbly Fish), it does in fact have a number of names, the favourite being “Cont Fôr” or “Cont y Môr” – Môr is the Welsh for sea, you can work out the rest yourself…. They’re wet and dangerous to touch…. So this summer if you want to start a conversation, wear one of these, confident in the knowledge that you can educate someone about the Welsh language. And if you don’t believe it, check the dictionary..
Conts y Môr
The Welsh for Jellyfish is "cont y môr", but if you visit places like Abersoch during the summer you'll soon discover who the true "conts y môr" are...
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Conwy
Home to the smallest house in Wales, a Castle, two bridges and a tunnel. Where the Afon Conwy meets the sea and people visit to buy sausages from Edwards butchers.
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Cwm Garw
Cwm Garw the valley that gave the world Richard Price, one of the architects of US democracy, and the location where Calon Lân was composed. Also home to Snooker star Ryan Day and where Wales captain Dewi Lake went to school.
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GE2024
We have a fantastic chance of making Wales a country free of Tory MP's on the 4th of July 2024 and then in the Senedd elections in 2026! Help MAKE WALES TORY FREE today... And confuse your friends and neighbours by making them think you're standing for election, and you can blame them after the 4th of July if you end up with the wrong MP...
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Gog or Hwntw?
Where does your allegiance lie? To the north or the south? Choose your side today...
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Gwlad Gwlad
The best national anthem in the world with the best chorus in the world...
Gwlad! Gwlad! Pleidiol wyf i'm gwlad.
Tra môr yn fur i'r bur hoff bau,
O bydded i'r hen iaith barhau.
Hoffi Coffi
Hoffi coffi? Of course you do. For the Welsh coffee lover in your life, or for yourself if you hoffi coffi.
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Indy Wales
Being an independent country is normal. There are loads of countries smaller than Wales in the world. It's time we joined them.
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Jones
Jones is one of the rarest surnames in the world, almost as rare as the fabled Unicorn. Are you one of the few? Get your Jones on today.
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JUST STOP NOW IN A MINUTE
Confuse your English friends and the police. It might get you arrested! Who knows, give it a go today.
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Live in Hope
die in Caergwrle....
Own what are potentially the most niche items of clothing in the world...
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Llandudno
A mecca for daily mail reading pensioners in mobility scooters, a town where wild goats roam the streets and the place where Alice in Wonderland was imagined....
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Llanelli
The beginnings of Llanelli can be found on the lands of present-day Parc Howard. An Iron Age hill fort once stood which was called Bryn-Caerau.
Evidence suggests there were five hill forts from Old Road to the Dimpath.
During the Roman conquest of Wales the area of Llanelli was part of the Silures tribe who were fierce rivals of the Demetae tribe who had bases in Castell Nedd and Abertawe.
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Llanfair PG
The longest placename in England, Wales and Luxembourg.... The best tourist marketing scheme since Beddgelert. The perfect destination for a coach load of pensioners.
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Llangrannog
Where better to spend a summer afternoon? Enjoying a pint outside the Pentre Arms, followed by a handmade pizza from Tafell a tân then an ice cream from Cafe Patio
The home of Cranogwen, described as ‘the most outstanding Welsh woman of the nineteenth century’. Master mariner, teacher and poet.
The composer, Sir Edward Elgar whilst staying in Llangrannog, is said to have been inspired to compose some of his music by the singing of local girls on the beach.
Home to Gwersyll yr URDD, the camp where many a Welsh youngster was terrified by the black nun....
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Llyswen
How many of us have driven through Llyswen on a journey from north to south? Dreamt of being snowed in for a few days at Griffin Inn.
The Llys in its name refers to the court of Rhodri Mawrs sons. Rhodri was King of the Britons in the 9th century.
The romantic radical and poet John Thelwall built himself a "hermitage" at Llyswen Farm during his exile in Wales. His friends William and Dorothy Wordsworth and Samuel Taylor Coleridge visited him there in August 1798. The figure of "The Solitary" from Wordsworth's later poem 'The Excursion' is thought to be based on Thelwall in Llyswen.
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Machynlleth
Machynlleth was originally called Penpaned but was renamed Machynlleth in 1399 by Owain Glyndwr in order to deter the English from attacking the site of the first Welsh Parliament he had established there. By naming it Machynlleth it made it virtually impossible for English armies to ask for directions to find it.
It is the location for an annual comedy festival which have seen some of the biggest comedy talents perform there, and Tudur Owen.
Known colloquially, locally, as Mach because the locals are too lazy to say the “ynlleth”.
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Maesteg
The capital of the Llynfi Valley.
Hen Wlad fy Nhadau was first performed in Maesteg, in the vestry of the original Capel Tabor which is now Maesteg Workingmen's Club.
According to the Daily Telegraph, Maesteg was the first place in the UK where Japanese knotweed was spotted in the wild, sometime before 1886.
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Merthyr Tudful
Local tradition holds that, around 480 CE, a girl called Tudful, daughter of a local chieftain named Brychan was murdered by Saxon pagans, and buried in the town. Tudful was considered a martyr after her death. Merthyr translates to "martyr" in English, and when the town was founded, it was named in her honour. A church was eventually built on the traditional site of her burial.
Merthyr was known as the 'Iron Capital of the World' in the early 19th century, due to the scale of its iron production.
The worlds first ever railway journey happened in Merthyr in 1804, travelling 9 miles from the ironworks at Penydarren to the Glamorganshire Canal on the Merthyr Tramroad.
The 1851 census found Wales to be the world's first industrialised nation, as more people were employed in industry than agriculture, with Merthyr the biggest town in Wales at that time.
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No Farmers No Food
It's quite simple, without farmers we won't have any food to eat. Show your support for the farming community.
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Not my king
He's not my king... Is he yours>
Upset the monarchists in your life, in your home or place of work with a t-shirt, hoodie, sweatshirt or mug.
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Pentre Ifan
Built 5,500 years ago, 1,000 years before the pyramids.... No one is sure of its purpose as no human remains have been discovered there.... It's a mystery.
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Penybont ar Ogwr
Birthplace of Ruth Madoc and Huw Edwards, the place to visit if you want to buy a mobile phone, between Cardiff and Swansea.
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Pontypridd
The name Pontypridd derives from the name Pont y tŷ pridd, which is Welsh for "bridge of the earthen house", referring singly to successive wooden bridges that once spanned the Afon Taf at this point.
Pontypridd railway station was home, at one point, to the world's longest platform,
The Welsh national anthem Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau was composed in Pontypridd by local poets/musicians Evan James and James James.
It was also home to the eccentric Dr William Price who performed the first modern cremation in the United Kingdom.
Pontypridd hosted the National Eisteddfod in 1893 and will host it again in 2024.
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Pontypwl
Home of "the" front row, Bobby Windsor, Charlie Faulkner and Graham Price, who were immortalised in song by Max Boyce.
One of Wales's oldest industrial towns with its origins dating back to the 16th century.
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Popty Ping
Officially Huw Edwards least favourite word. Popty ping (an oven that goes ping) is a made up word that has entered the vocabulary in recent times. Love it or loathe it, POPTY PING is here to stay....
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Port Talbot
Modern Port Talbot is a town formed from the merging of multiple villages, including Baglan, Margam, and Aberafan. The name 'Port Talbot' first appears in 1837 as the name of the new docks built on the south-east side of the river Afan by the Talbot family. Over time it came to be applied to the whole of the emerging conurbation.
Notable individuals who have ties to Port Talbot include Captain Beany, Michael Sheen and Di Botcher.
Porthcawl
Home to the biggest Elvis festival outside the USA and the biggest Aldi in Mid Glamorgan.
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Porthmadog
It's from Porthmadog that Prince Madog sailed to North America in 1170*. He didn't discover America, it had been discovered many years before his arrival by the native Americans who were already living there. Madog supposedly traded with the Mandan tribe and some of his crew joined the Mandan*. Legends persisted for years about a "Welsh tribe" with the Mandan having some words of Welsh in their vocabulary. In 1796 the Welsh explorer John Evans spent a winter with the Mandan in order to study their language and discovered they didn't speak any Welsh.
A miniature railway runs from Porthmadog to Blaenau Ffestiniog, no one knows why it was built but local legend states that, at one time, it transported umbrellas and raincoats to Blaenau where it rains 364 days a year.
*This is probably total bollocks...
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Rhondda
Death Valley, The Valley of the Kings, The Valley home of Charlton FC. But no valley comes near the Rhondda Valley (not even the Afan and Aman valleys).
Rhondda, given its name by the river which flows down the Rhondda Fawr from its sources in the Rhigos mountain down through Blaenrhondda, Treorci, Tonpentre, Tonypandy and down through Porth meeting the Afon Taf in Pontypridd.
Home to a range of notable individuals, Stanley Baker who wrote and produced Zulu, politician Leanne Wood, boxers Jimmy Wilde and Tommy Farr. Jimmy Murphy who managed Wales and Man Utd, Alan Curtis and World Darts Champion Richie Burnett.
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sausage
William Tampin and Llewellyn Fumin were world leaders in technology when they established their business in a shed in Dowlais in 1904.
They patented the "Robobobbin" the first digital weaving machine. It was so far ahead of its time none of the parts it required even existed.
We have now successfully inputted all of Tampin & Fumins work and designs into a supercomputer (Amstrad PCW-8512 with external floppy drive) and using the revolutionary Artificial Intelligence software developed in Bangor, the Bangor AI, we can now create new designs just as Tampin & Fumin would have imagined them.
The first design using Bangor AI is "The Sausage". It encapsulates the whole ethos of Tampin & Fumin. William Tampin was often described as a "silly sausage" and he often threatened to turn Llewellyn Fumin into "toast".
We hope you enjoy our latest design
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State educated Welsh speaker
State educated Welsh speakers walk among us, and one of them has become chair of the BBC! What next? Reading the news on the BBC? Get yours today and keep the public safe.
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Tampin & Fumin
We've teamed up with the famous Welsh fashion house to bring you their exclusive new summer 2023 range.
Established in 1902 by William Tampin and Llewellyn Fumin in a shed in Dowlais the company now operates out of a state of the art shed in Dowlais Top.
Winners of numerous awards and official outfitters of the Wales bowls seniors team - 1978 to 1983.
Tampin and Fumin are famous for their avant garde style and their playful designs.
At home on the catwalks of Milan or Merthyr the Tampin and Fumin brand is the one to be seen in this summer.
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TAMPIN FUMIN RAGIN
In Wales we don't get angry, we get tampin, fumin or ragin. And on bad days all three...
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The Clwydian range...
Featuring our Wrexham/Wrecsam merchandise.
The town that's now a city and known across the globe as the birthplace of Russell Crowe's grandad.
Oh, and we have a football team.
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The Tortured Poets Department
Our homage to Taylor Swift, Dylan Thomas and Patti Smith
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The Welsh places and mountains range
Different places in Wales mean different things to different people... Mostly mountains, may contain towns and villages...
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They all started speaking Welsh
We've all heard it and it simply isn't true......And anyway, how do you you know what language someone was speaking inside a pub before you went in?
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Tonypandy
Tonypandy gets its name from its founder Anthony Pandy who discovered coal in the valley in 1722. Luckily he struck coal 2 months ahead of his brother Andrew, otherwise, residents of the town could now be living in Andypandy
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twat blanket
The robe that's meant to dry you after a dip in the sea has now become a blanket for twats...
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TWENTY'S PLENTY
We're now being asked to drive 10mph slower in some areas that were previously 30mph. If you or one of your kids is hit by a vehicle doing 20mph instead of 30mph you're far less likely to die, so it may be a pain in the bum for a bit, we'll all get used to it and fewer Welsh people will die. Not a bad thing in the long term.
PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS ITEM OF CLOTHING IS UNSUITABLE FOR WEARING BY CONSERVATIVE POLITICIANS AS IT IS LIABLE TO CAUSE THE WEARER TO COMBUST*.
(* It won't)
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Welsh Mam
Are you a Welsh mam? Do you have a Welsh mam? Would like to be a Welsh mam? Here's the top for you, or your mam.
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Whose coat's that jacket?
The age old Welsh question, whose coat exactly is that jacket?
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Wrecsam
Birthplace of Russell Crowe's taid, resting place of Elihu Yale, home of the best football team in Wales who play in red (at the Cae Ras)
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Ynys Môn
"Môn mam Cymru", Môn the mother of Wales... The island with 2 bridges, 1 ferry port and the smallest mountain in Wales. The land of druids....
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Ynys y Barri
Barry Island, Wales's most famous island that isn't an island. Where people who would like to live in Cardiff but can't afford to reside. Made famous after it appeared on TV in 1985 in an episode of Treasure Hunt, it's not thought to have featured on TV since. Barry Manilow was named after the town after his dad was stationed there during the Second World War.
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Ynysybwl
The village with FOUR vowels in its name. Easier to pronounce than Loughborough, Leominster and Marylebone... (NO VOWELS WERE HARMED IN THE CREATION OF THIS DESIGN)
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Zoo
If your school was within a 2-hour radius of Neath you probably visited Penscynor as a child. In 1998 it closed its doors for the last time. The animals were released into the wild and in 2008 the monkeys took control of Neath Town Council. The seals still run a hand car wash at Aberdulais Falls and the penguins have a successful second-hand car dealership Cilfrew.
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